talk the talk, walk the walk

Talk the talk.... I only wish i had the strength to walk the walk...
Recently I had a very odd conversation with a very odd fellow... I guess I never really took him seriously... the conversation seemed all too 'plastic' for me... I left the room and decided I’d go for a little stroll around the city... But before I could reach for the knob, he called me and said: Pipo while you're walking around, ask yourself if you're happy... Ask yourself if you're happy with where you are right now... At that moment the question seemed Preposterous... I knew I was happy... I was smiling for goodness sake... Of course I was happy... With a smirk on my face, I left the office to pursue a thought I knew was in my head but I couldn't quite get to it... My feet took me as far as Panganiban and around Magsaysay... I never really knew where I was headed or what I was thinking... All I knew was that I was alone and I didn’t have the usual smile printed on my horrifying face... There was a load somewhere beneath my extremely thick shell... A load so minute, so small, yet so heavy... What was it? I decided that pondering on something so ridiculously small would be a waste of my time... So I left it alone... All of a sudden this question pops so strangely in my empty head: are you happy? Were you smiling OR WERE YOU SMILING? Then I came to a halt... How ironic it was that there was an intersection just a few meters ahead... Did I make the right decision? I asked myself... Do I make right decisions? Will I ever be able to make right decisions?.... I so often talk so big I catch myself shrinking inside... Thinking I could never walk the walk... Then insecurities take over my system and I fade into the world's background... Just another speck... Just another sad, pathetic Joe who never found out the answers to anything... I never wanted to be this man... But I guess I have to learn to deal with it... I am who I am... As much as I try to change for anyone... I will always be who I am... From my few strengths to a lot of weaknesses... I am me... I will always be me... I know its sad... But this is who I am... A sad, pathetic being... A being who sometimes long for the thrill of a good, loud SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1