things come when you're ready

you come to a point when things are trashy in your life - family problems, school, headaches and heartaches, and so on. but if there's one thing I've learned in my fucking life, things balance each other. the universe is sort of a colossal template where each end usually meets if you ride the wave of life long enough. it's like a circle - perfect in form. you may find yourself in a tough, tight fit one moment and on the next second you're swimming in a pool of bliss. I speak based on the recent circumstances in my life. and what a circumstance it is.


not so long ago, I was laying down on a pool of nasty shit. school work sucks, family's a bit rough, death took its toll on a very close relative, respect I thought I earned was never given back. on top of it all, the only thing I had looked for for strength vanished as if it were just another bubble in my shitty life. the tropa I once knew disappeared into the horizon. I guess the found a better place for themselves. one found love, one found the group which provided a more favorable environment, one had the girls crawling all over him. well, I guess the had found a more thrilling situation to be in. I could only guess that they had been bored with the constant companions that offered them sanctuary every time they fell flat down on their faces. that's life. things change.

but as I've said things tend to balance their shit out. so I decide I'd go to manila for the summer to look for another environment (hopefully one that was favorable for me), to get away from the life that I was getting tired of - with everything falling down in front of my face. (including love lives)

unexpectedly, when I got to manila, I had one person back at home who kept texting me. I'd like to think that she was keeping me sane. (And I thank her for that) at first, I never thought of it as anything other than "me keeping in touch with a friend". but as we shared messages and got little details, it eventually stirred something up. a feeling of glee and expectation, a feeling of potential belonging and commitment. An event, I dare say, I never really considered for quite sometime. well, as she kept texting I kept thinking about possibilities. why not? I guess I was ready for another run... there was nothing wrong with considering another raising of the stakes, as it were... And I start to consider it, I suddenly remembered the philosophy that all thing come to you when you are ready. so if I thought I was ready, then this must be the thing that balances evrything in my life... an inspiration I have longed for for quite some time.

the passed few days, my work never seemed easier than it is now... every single minute is just another daydream. and the counting down of the clock to six in the evening became an inspiring sight. I would at last be able to talk to her again. I guess what I'm trying to say is this: I wanted to get away from home because it didn't have the aura of the place I once knew, but when this girl came, it feels as though I'm ready to come back home...

at last!!! I have someone to look forward to..... I just hope it works out....