I needed to say sorry

I mentioned things a while back that really should not be mentioned. Perhaps I said them because I was too angry at people me included... Me most of all... When I first realized I was out of line, that all these things were really not in my control, it was too late. I had already thrown myself at the mercy of my own burning desire to screw everyone.

As the rage settled, I was not quick to the idea of fixing things. I savored everything - from the trouble I caused to the things that happened thereafter. I tasted what felt like victory.
But it wasn't... It was defeat... I had failed to recognize the things my rage made me do. there were no physical harm done. But I found a way to play with people's thoughts and feelings. I felt there morale broke down and the hope, that was love for most people, turned into agonizing experiences as I drove from the back seat.

I was at the top of my game. everybody was doing exactly what I thought they'd do. The psychological torture was simple - let them think I was down and out and hurt so bad I couldn't handle myself. All the while I creating a situation where I can implant thoughts into there heads that they thought was there's when in fact it was mine.

For all these things, I'm sorry... Before I leave, I wanted every single person involved... I'm sorry... from the depths of my soul... I'm sorry... no poems to decipher, no tricky words to look up, no sarcastic comments to mislead... just a simple letter to say I am truly sorry...